What Will The Mormons Do...

...if the Confederate yahoos they've thrown their lot in with actually nominate Newt Gingrich? Delaware sociopath Christine "I'm not a witch" O'Donnell endorsed Romney yesterday but, no, it isn't any more far-fetched that Newt be nominated-- and become president-- than it was for Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan or even George W. Bush. Those were also impossible candidates who, liberals hoped would get nominated because they were so utterly implausible. As Rick Perry would say, "Oops!" Now Rick Perry, that's implausible. Or Bachmann or Santorum. But The Newtster? He may seem like a thoroughly repugnant figure to normal people but we're talking about a series of Republican primaries and caucuses-- in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida. Do you see what kind of freaks are participating in these events? The only thing that's implausible is that Gingrich not win. He's almost exactly their vision of a leader-- as Alan Grayson put it a few weeks ago, a stupid person's idea of a smart person. It's fine for Democrats to smirk about Newt that "the higher a monkey climbs... the more you can see his butt," but that doesn't mean that Gingrich isn't the next-- albeit not very likable-- Ronald Reagan (although, personally, I never liked him either). Which brings us back to the Mormons.

Capturing the government-- and the White House in particular-- is practically part of their religion! And they're serious about it. There are 6 Mormons in the Senate, including the Majority Leader (Harry Reid) and the most senior Republican (Orrin Hatch), as well as Mike Lee (R-UT), Mike Crapo (R-ID), Dean Heller (R-NV) and Tom Udall (D-NM). And there are 8 Mormons in the House-- Rob Bishop, R-UT), Jason Chaffetz, R-UT), Jim Matheson, Blue Dog-UT), Buck McKeon (R-CA), Wally Herger (R-CA), Raul Labrador (R-ID), Mike Simpson (R-ID) and Jeff Flake (R-AZ), currently favored to win an open Senate seat.

You may not be aware that soon after Joseph Smith made up the religion, he started imagining himself in the White House. Even today, Mormons revere him as a prophet instead of a bank swindler and charlatan who was nearly executed for treason. In 1842 Smith wrote into his cult that it would one day rule all of the Western Hemisphere as a Mormon theocracy. After running for president in 1844 Smith had himself declared "prophet, priest and king" of a millennial monarchy and was assassinated while in jail... before the election. Here's what Presidnet James Buchanan had to say about the next Mormon prophet in his first State of the Union (1857):

"The people of Utah almost exclusively belong to this [the Mormon] church, and believing with a fanatical spirit that he [Brigham Young] is governor of the Territory by divine appointment, they obey his commands as if these were direct revelations from Heaven. If, therefore, he chooses that his government shall come into collision with the Government of the United States, the members of the Mormon Church will yield implicit obedience to his will. Unfortunately, existing facts leave but little doubt that such is his determination. Without entering upon a minute history of occurrences, it is sufficient to say that all the officers of the United States, judicial and executive, with the single exception of two Indian agents, have found it necessary for their own personal safety to withdraw from the Territory, and there no longer remains any government in Utah but the despotism of Brigham Young. This being the condition of affairs in the Territory, I could not mistake the path of duty. As Chief Executive Magistrate I was bound to restore the supremacy of the Constitution and laws within its limits. In order to effect this purpose, I appointed a new governor and other Federal officers for Utah and sent with them a military force for their protection and to aid as a posse comitatus in case of need in the execution of the laws."

Presidents Hayes, Garfield, Cleveland and Arthur all had similar public problems with the Mormons, much of it centered around polygamy, theocracy and intolerance towards non-Mormons. Today the states with significant Mormon populations, enough to effect election outcomes, are:

Utah- 1,884,377 (68.2%)
California- 757,895 (2.03%)
Idaho- 410,757 (26.2%)
Arizona- 381,235 (5.96%)
Texas- 286,902 (1.14%)
Washington- 263,004 (3.91%)
Nevada- 174,662 (6.47%)
Oregon- 146,617 (3.83%)
Colorado- 139,887 (2.78%)
New Mexico- 66,178 (3.21%)
Wyoming- 62,411 (11.1%)
Montana- 45,893 (4.64%)

How pissed off will Mormons be if Newt Gingrich winds up as the GOP nominee instead of Bishop Romney? Not pissed off enough to vote for Obama-- but pissed off enough to not vote for Gingrich. Will it matter in Utah? No, there are too many Republicans. Will it matter in California? No, there aren't enough Republicans. But where it can matter-- in terms of throwing states' electoral votes-- are Arizona, Nevada and, possibly, Colorado. These are all swing states with big Mormon voting populations that help Republicans win. If they-- or their Elders-- are angry enough that Romney was denied the opportunity to fulfill Joseph Smith's plan... well, it would be hard for the Newtster to win without Arizona, Nevada and Colorado.