Verizon GOP Xmas Party

- by Juan

The Verizon "All I want for Christmas is my 20 MHz" Holiday bash for the GOP was held yesterday. I was lucky to have as a housemate, not only a fly on the wall but a fly who brought home some scallops wrapped in bacon, heavenly cheese puffs and some divine crab cakes which I am devouring as I blog. My housemate tells me that these assholes get the royal treatment from Verizon every year. It's always over the top especially when it's tied to something like a reward for bitchslapping AT&T. But this year Verizon also needs the GOP to allow for them to secure more bandwidth with the 4G quickness, as it were. Thus, partisan holiday lobbying cheer. Feeling the warmth? They'll probably have Newt's pickaninny housekeeping kids clean up after the soiree in exchange for some heating bill vouchers, but I digress.

Anyway, my housemate tells me that he detected an overwhelming silence as the Republicans tried sounding out an actual agenda over clinking cocktail glasses. Grasping for an elusive positive while confronted with a "Sophie's Choice" dilemma. Newt or Willard? This party was full of House members and many have all actually worked with Newt. They are shielded by and invested in but not blinded by the Republican media machine (which is far more influential than any so called lame stream media.) They know, first hand, that Newt is a time bomb. "Running against Obama" might be a rallying cry and a sufficient curtain behind which to hide for the media's sake. But while all dressed up and all liquored up, there was a decided lack of delusion where one would expect it to thrive. The process is winding down to Willard and fucking Newt! Trump has re-injected himself as Grand Dame. They just
couldn't get it up. Not with beer goggles. Or "the donald" working the poll (which he says he learned about at Wharton... who knew?)

My friend says there was almost no talk of Big Daddy Cain's going out with (or because of) a bang. Or Romney, who probably was not even invited. Bachman? nope. Perry? Who? Santorum? [crickets...] There was no cheerleading which one might expect at an all-Republican, way open bar, black tie, holiday hoedown. Could it be that the sinking is sinking in? I won't hold my breath but I did enjoy having their crab cakes and eating them too!